4.18.2014

Good Friday

Is it weird that I love Good Friday the most? I do.  I always get a little weepy during mass and I always feel the weight of the sacrifice Jesus made the most. Like I said it's my favorite.
I've been attending St. Lawrence fairly regularly and I was thinking a lot about my faith and where I've been on this journey and it is really amazing to me. Growing up I went to church and religion classes, etc. because I had to.  After I left home I became SUPER RELIGIOUS.  I was ultra conservative, judgmental, and thought a lot of people, including family and friends were going to Hell. That's right. Then I got angry at God, super angry, but was still active in Christian groups on campus and even went on a mission project that summer with Campus Crusade for Christ.  That's when I started thinking, something isn't right.  There's more to this religion thing then telling people to believe in God, pray some prayer about Jesus coming into their hearts telling them yes God loves you, but He'll send you to hell if you don't pray this prayer right now. How can someone who LOVES you, created you, knew everything about you before you were you, send you to Hell?  This thought process brought about change that took place over several years until I got to the point where I just knew what God was. Love. It was so simple and I was frustrated at myself for missing out the main thing God wanted me to do all of those years.  Love people.  Whoever they are, whatever they've done, I love them, because God loves them.  So when people ask me what I believe, or if I'm a Christian or Catholic, I never know what to say.  Because none of that matters to me. Technically, yes I guess I would be a Christian because I want to live the kind of life Jesus lived, but really I don't like to be labeled as anything. The second you say "I'm a Christian" people think you are judging them, because let's be honest, a lot of Christians are judging you, I used to be one of them.  So I typically just say, I believe in loving people, as cheesetastic as that sounds.  But it's true.
To me, God isn't just Christianity.  He's found in every religion,  He's for people who don't have any religion but just LOVE PEOPLE and do good.  If people are loving their fellow man they are doing God's work whether they realize it or not, whether they've heard of Jesus, Mohamed, Buddha, or have never heard of any kind of religious thing in their life.  God will work through anyone regardless of what or who they believe in.

The end.
On a side note.
I have a 5k tomorrow.  I haven't ran a lick since my last 5k in March.  I've had a serious lack of motivation to basically do anything in my life.  I force myself to go to work, hang out with friends, do homework, do anything.  All I really want to do is sleep for a really, really long time and then sit on my couch with Matilda and watch Food Network and Mysteries at the Museum.  This is not normal behavior for me. I love my friends I should want to do stuff with them.  I don't love running, but I could tolerate it and I felt amazing afterwards, I should want to do it.  I hate math, but I started strong, I want to move up to the preschool wing, I still do, and yet I just don't care.  So any advice on getting motivated, to start caring about the direction my life is headed again would be most appreciated.
Hoppy Easter everybody!
Yes I meant HOPPY :)