Yesterday I was driving along with Marcie, we had just had dinner with some friends and I was feeling very heathenish because the ladies we had dinner with were all talking about church etc. and Marcie and I just sat there...saying nothing. At least Marcie listens to sermons, she's one step ahead of me. This was bothering me, needless to say so Marcie and I started talking about why we don't go to church anywhere, we'd like to, but we don't. And here it is in a nutshell.
Let me first say it used to be I didn't go to church because I am what some might call a liberal and most churches are moderate at best and I didn't think I could go to church where I didn't agree with every single thing they did. I have realized that this was a totally ridiculous way to think and I've moved past it. The main issue now is this. Church is about belonging to a community, but there is no community for people like Marcie and I. We are an over looked kind of person. Single. In our thirties. We have full-time jobs. No kids. So there you go. Does your church have a "young adult" group, guess what? I'm sure it's not for Marcie and I, because it's either for college age people or married ones. Single parents. Old single people. Etc. I cannot relate to you if you are married, old, in college, raising kids on your own. I have a different life, different struggles, we are different. I thought I was weird for thinking about church this way, but I'm not, Marcie feels the same way. See, for me church is more than just a service on Sunday. It's about finding friends, fellowship with people similar to you, but every church I visit it isn't concerned with those late twenties / early thirties single people. So we aren't at church. We're at home on Sunday mornings. Like right now. I'm at home, listening to Kirk Franklin and reminiscing of my days as a younger person enjoying a community of friends that I met when I attended church on a regular basis.
Lawrence is the only city I've lived in and not had a group of friends. Seriously, I'm telling you , I don't have any friends in Lawrence. I have a friend. We met at Mac and I see him sporadically at best. I have acquaintances. They don't come to my house, we don't go out, they have real friends that they spend time with. It's pretty lonely sometimes. But Lawrence is the first place I've lived where I haven't been in school to meet friends, or active in a church to meet people. So here I sit.
And all of the churches I've gone to here I'm surrounded by families, young married couples, college students, and children. I scan their websites hoping to find a group for single adults, and each time I'm disappointed. I never even see any while I'm at church, and I'm pretty confident it's because they are all at home. Like I am. Tired of looking and tired of disappointment.
But Marcie and I aren't alone in this, I know that. And some day we'll be married or old and single and we'll be able to walk into a church and feel a sense of belonging with a community of people who are just where we are.
I don't really have much else to say about it. I'm just glad I am not alone is this frustration.